Complete
by Partridge On A Pear Tree
Summary: "...If I tell you the reason for the hole in my heart... will you tell me yours?" "I don't know... Should I?" ReiSaru. Oneshot. Again, cowritten with that awesome friend of mine.


Fushimi Saruhiko sighed.

It has been a long day.

Strains were causing trouble anywhere, and that means more paperwork. He's used to taking care of the paperwork himself as doing so if faster and more certain, but he honestly thinks that it gets annoying too.

He was about to leave and return to his dorm room when he heard Awashima's voice telling him that the Captain is calling him.

He sighed yet again.

_So much for resting early_, he thought as he made his way to the Blue King's office and knocked on the door thrice.

"Captain, it's Fushimi."

Munakata Reishi sat at his desk, attempting to complete a puzzle that was irritatingly difficult; he was almost certain that a piece was missing. The entire day had been oddly frustrating, as every day was since Suoh had died. But he couldn't pinpoint why.

He thought maybe shifting to another puzzle would be best: his favorite one. A human one. Just then, a knock sounded at the door. Speak of the devil, he smirked. "Enter."

Fushimi cannot even count how many times he sighed this day.

He opened the door, observing the ridiculously organized office of the Fourth and Blue King, Scepter 4's King, Munakata Reishi. The man was organized with everything; his office, his actions, his demeanor, his way of leadership... _everything_, and Fushimi isn't even sure what to think about that fact.

"Why did you call me?" Fushimi asked, rather disrespectfully. Sometimes, even he himself wonders why Munakata lets him be as discourteous as he is. "I want to sleep early, so make it fast."

Munakata gave him a smirk. "That's rude, Fushimi-kun," he said. "Why don't you take a seat? I would really appreciate your company at the moment."

Fushimi clicked his tongue, keeping his glare on Munakata. He begrudgingly sat on the offered seat, resting his chin on his palm in an annoyed manner. "Is solving puzzles really your hobby? Or do you enjoy bothering me more?" Those sentences were meant to be mere mumbles, but he unintentionally made them audible than they were supposed to.

Munakata gave him one of his indecipherable _looks_. "Who says I can't do both at once?" he asked with a smile. Conversations with Fushimi always went like this. Other people made small talk, mundane and ordinary. But with them, everything they said had layer upon layer of meaning.

"I've been feeling out of sorts lately," Munakata confessed. "And I was hoping you could... help me understand why. As you know, I am terrible at these things. But Fushimi-kun has always been perceptive."

Honestly, Fushimi has noticed that Munakata was not being himself these days. He thought that he guessed wrongly though for the reason that as much as he rather not admit, he looks up to Munakata as a well-composed person.

"I'm afraid I'm not perceptive enough, Captain." Fushimi raised an eyebrow. "But if you want my opinion, I think you know the reason why. I mean, it's impossible that you don't. Sometimes... you think that you don't know the reason, when in fact, you simply are unconsciously pushing the thought away."

Honestly too, Fushimi thinks that the words that he is speaking are starting to sound really embarrassing.

Munakata thought about it. "Perhaps you're right," he said. "In which case it must be something big, because I like to face my problems. It's almost like an empty feeling in my chest. Have you ever felt like that, Fushimi-kun?"

_All the time_, Fushimi almost replied without thinking.

He luckily caught himself on time and averted his gaze, choosing to lie. "Of course not. That's ridiculous."

"You're lying, of course," Munakata observed with a smile. "But I won't push you to say otherwise. You are such an interesting contradiction sometimes. Like a human puzzle."

And of course, Munakata knows.

He _always_ knows.

Just who is the perceptive one here?

"A human puzzle. Somehow, that sounds a bit offensive and disgusting." Fushimi replied with evident hostility.

Munakata laughed. "I apologize. That must have sounded like you were being...well, _literally_ objectified." It's a joke that only Fushimi would laugh at, if he laughed - which he usually didn't - but Munakata liked to see the twinkle in his eyes when he tried to suppress it.

Munakata looked strangely and heavily amused, Fushimi thought. He decided to just let the older man have his fun.

Another thing that Fushimi will not admit: the fact that Munakata is having fun is better than him being out of himself.

"You seem to regard everyone and everything as a puzzle anyway. Sometimes I wonder if you enjoy playing god as well."

"Ah, but playing god implies that I enjoy _making_ people do things," Munakata smirked. "But I don't. I merely _observe_ and _predict_ the things they do. And besides..." his smirk grew wider. "It's true that I see everyone as puzzles. But most are easily solved, and therefore I can easily get bored with them. But you... are not like that."

"What the hell are you talking about? You're starting to sound..." _Awkward? Embarrassing? Flattering?_ "...strange. And creepy."

Fushimi decided to not use the words that flashed through his mind.

"Anyway, you're meaning to say that once you have solved me, you'll get bored with me too?" Fushimi isn't sure why he had to ask that.

Munakata thought about it. "Strangely, I don't think so," he replied. "But if it was anybody else I probably would." He smirked. "Does this count as flirting?"

Fushimi refused to acknowledge the heat that started from his neck and slowly creeping to his face.

"That's a stupid question." He looked away. Looking at anything except Munakata is fine at the moment.

Munakata smirked. "You're cute, Fushimi-kun. There's no reason to be shy after all we've been through, is there?" his smirk turned seductive.

For some reason, however, his subordinate who was normally forward in these matters looked like he had a lump in his throat.

"Fushimi-kun... Saruhiko, did I say something out of line?" he wondered if this had anything to do with them not... getting together since Suoh died.

Fushimi clicked his tongue in annoyance. He had to be annoyed to overpower the growing embarrassing feeling. The last thing he wanted to be around Munakata was a blushing schoolgirl.

Great, Munakata is calling him by his first name now.

"You didn't say anything out of the line. It's just that..." Fushimi bit his lower lip, unaware if continuing his sentence is a right and logical move. "It feels different today. Maybe it's because you seem really different these days, but..."

Fushimi gulped, forcing himself to maintain eye contact. "Right now, you don't seem like you mean what you're saying at all. Or maybe that's just me. Feel free to ignore what I said."

Munakata shook his head. "I suppose this part of you will never change. The part that dislikes saying your problems aloud." he smiled, then reached across the desk, taking Fushimi's hand.

They _were_ lovers, of a sort, but neither had ever made it official. For one, there was the problem of hiding a workplace relationship. And the fact that they were both men. Munakata always wondered if their sneaking around was making Fushimi insecure. Especially now that he had been so... preoccupied.

"Hmph." Fushimi eyed their holding hands with hostility, but didn't make any movement to go away. "Does it even matter?"

"Maybe I'm worried about how my actions are affecting you," Munakata replied. "And I'd like to know."

"What I feel doesn't matter." Fushimi replied, looking away as he pulled his hand back. "You should just stop being kind to me and do whatever you want without thinking about me."

_So that it would be easier for me once you leave too. Because that's how it works. Everybody leaves._

The unspoken words threatened to come out of Fushimi's mouth, but they never did.

Munakata leaned back into his chair reluctantly. "...If I tell you the reason for the hole in my heart," he said, "...Will you tell me yours?"

Fushimi bit his lower lip.

It was a truly difficult question. Ever since Misaki exited his life, he promised himself that he will never let anyone in ever again. But somehow, he can feel himself uncontrollably attracted to Munakata. It was slow, but it was also there.

The stronger feeling that was present was fear though: the fear of being left alone again.

That's why he doesn't let anyone in.

Nobody can leave if nobody's around, right?

"I don't know..." He softly spoke in all honesty. "Should I?"

"How about you decide after you hear mine?" Munakata smiled. He pulled his chair out and made a gesture for Fushimi to come sit next to him. "Did you know, Fushimi-kun, that I was friends with the Red King?"

Fushimi reluctantly sat on the space that Munakata offered. "Well, yes... I thought it was obvious..."

Fushimi looked down, unknown to himself why he felt the need to ask this question that he absolutely knows the answer to. "How does it feel? ...To lose a friend, I mean?"

Munakata's smile turned bitter. He caught Fushimi's gaze, steady lavender meeting trembling sapphire. "I think you know," he mumbled. "Just like I know. But I've been running from it. We both have, haven't we?"

Fushimi didn't reply.

He knows though that even if he didn't reply, Munakata knows.

He always knows.

It's only a matter of time before Fushimi's walls crash.

Munakata smiled. Slowly, gradually, he began telling Fushimi everything about him and Suoh. How they met. How they clashed. How they helped each other.

At one point Fushimi interrupted by asking, "...Did you love him?" to which Munakata only gave a sad smile that was answer enough. Fushimi was a jealous lover, but an understanding person, and he did not wish to lie to him.

Then they got to _that_ fateful day, and Munakata almost choked on a sob. "Excuse me," he said, hiding it with a smile and reaching for a glass of water. "Sore throat. Apologies."

_Sore throat, my ass,_ Fushimi thought but didn't voice it out.

He understood how hard it was to talk about feelings.

Munakata has been strong for a long time now.

Fushimi wasn't sure how it happened, but it did. He embraced Munakata close to him, fighting his embarrassment.

"You have been through a lot, Captain... It's alright to discard your composure for once."

Surprised, Munakata was momentarily rendered speechless by the hug. Then he smiled and carefully wrapped his arm around Fushimi's waist, pulling him closer, letting Fushimi's head rest on his shoulder like he had so many times before.

"Thank you, Saruhiko," he sighed. "And forgive me for not being the ideal... _lover_... these past few days. It's just... hard, to forget."

"What are you talking about... Ideal lover and shit... I don't need that." His voice was slightly muffled as he leaned much closer on Munakata. "I-It's alright to be sad when you lose something... or someone."

"Is that what happened to you?" Munakata asked gently. "You can tell me, Saruhiko. Help me solve you. At least a little bit."

"No, it's not-" Fushimi cut himself off by clicking his tongue. He leaned much more closer if that was still possible. "...yes."

He hopes that Munakata doesn't do anything for Fushimi to regret this.

Munakata nodded, gently stroking Fushimi's hair. "Will you... tell me the real reason you left HOMRA?"

Fushimi nodded and buried his face even deeper as an effort to conceal himself. "You might get bored though... It's just a childish story..."

"I thought I told you," Munakata smiled. "I will _never_ get bored with you."

"I just... felt really replaced, that's all. Come on, even _I_ know that's boring." Fushimi spoke. "You do know about Yata Misaki, right? Like you and Mikoto-san, we were friends too... Really close friends... And he was my only friend."

Fushimi doesn't know if he will be able to summon the energy to continue speaking. But he had to. For the first time in years, he _wants_ to.

"I loved him too... I thought that he felt the same way about me but he just looked at me as a friend... And even as a friend I lost him. I guess it's because I'm not interesting enough." Fushimi chuckled, and Munakata was smart enough to know that it was forced. "Mikoto-san is much more interesting than me, right?"

"How a person who only sleeps and gets into fights can be more interesting than you is beyond me," Munakata chuckled, "although I suppose it's rather hypocritical for _me_ to say that." his voice turned softer. "Tell me more."

"Well, apparently, for Misaki, he was more interesting... much more interesting than me. I mean, everybody in HOMRA is more interesting than me, and Misaki started getting closer to them." Fushimi forced a chuckle yet again.

"You know, there was a day when I didn't even get the chance to talk to him at all. And the next time we did, it was about how awesome HOMRA is for him. I only listened because I cannot talk. I mean, I'm not good at talking... Right now too... I'm using really great effort... so bear with me if I'm starting to sound weird, okay? And if you get bored too, feel free to interrupt me... okay?"

"I would never," replied Munakata. "You know...this is the first time since...that day when you, um, asked me to sleep with you that you've shown so much emotion." He smiled kindly. "You really loved him?"

"It's really weird, right? When I get this emotional, I mean... I-I will stop if you want me to." Fushimi looked away, feeling slightly embarrassed. "And yes... I really loved him. He was the first person that I ever loved. Right now, I think I haven't moved on completely yet... But I try. Because I... It's not obvious but... I want to be happy too."

Fushimi bit his lower lip and looked straight at Munakata with all his strength. "...You'll help me with that... right?"

Munakata gave him the sweetest smile and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Yata Misaki was an idiot to let you go," he said. "And yes, Saruhiko, I will always take care of you."

Fushimi fought back a sniff and tightened his embrace around Munakata. "This is really embarrassing... But... um... Thank you. I-I mean it."

Munakata gently lifted him by the chin. "It's an honor to think that I might have helped even a little. ...I love you. You know that, right?"

Fushimi knows that it was the wrong time to blush.

"W-Well, yes... You make it so damn obvious." He swears he wasn't stuttering, or at least he tried not to. "I-I never understood why though..."

"If you could only see yourself the way I see you, you wouldn't even need to ask," Munakata replied. "You're beautiful. And smart. And strong, even if you don't believe it. Only you could stay by my side... even if I'm not quite myself."

"...What if someday... someday you find someone smarter, stronger, and more beautiful than me?"

"But they wouldn't be _you_," Munakata answered without even hesitating. "You know me well enough to know I never do anything if I don't mean it."

"I-If you leave me too... I'll never trust anyone again." Fushimi replied, looking at Munakata. "So don't leave me... okay?"

Munakata nodded with all the seriousness of a King. "Never intentionally. Not even if _you_ were to leave _me_."

"...I-I'll get really clingy and attached and possessive... And I will be jealous about the littlest things..." Fushimi stated as straightly and bravely as he can. "By agreeing not to leave, you agreed with putting up with that... N-No returns."

"Saruhiko," Munakata shook his head fondly. "I love _everything_ about you. Not just some parts. _Everything_. Put a leash and collar on me if you want to, I don't care."

Fushimi sighed, feeling strangely relieved all of a sudden. He actually thought that Munakata would recoil, and he felt glad to be wrong for once.

It was a long time since he last smiled this genuinely.

He was smiling really happily with tears on the sides of his eyes as he spoke, "Thank you, really... I love you too..."

Munakata smiled, took the chance, and leaned in to kiss him.

Fushimi closed his eyes and kissed back.

Right now, he actually felt... happy.

He didn't think that that was still possible.

The kiss they shared was loving. Not forceful and controlling... It was just there, moving slowly and gently, careful not to hurt him. Munakata was too careful with him, like he was glass that will break had he not been handled carefully...

Now that he thinks about it, maybe he is indeed fragile glass.

He pulled away and leaned his forehead on Munakata.

Munakata laughed lowly. "Well, this is much better than that puzzle I was working on."

Fushimi lightly chuckled as well, genuinely this time. "This reminds me... I found this when I got here. You were looking for this, right?"

He raised his hand a bit, just enough for Munakata to see. In his hand, he was holding a puzzle piece. "I think this is the reason why you can't finish that puzzle you're working on... It's here now. I found it."

_I finally found you_

_My missing puzzle piece_

_I'm complete_


End file.
